REFLECTIONS – Part 1 - SUCCESS & LIFE

[William Micklem]

For young people it is normal to look at their lives in the short term, but as we get older we all tend to start looking at our lives as a whole. In the short term performance achievements often take priority and many young performers are prepared to make enormous sacrifices and give up other opportunities as they chase competition goals. At worst these great challenges may create long-term difficulties or regrets. For example they may leave a competitor with cronic pain or, if female, lose the opportunity to have children. However at best they will have memories, skills and friendships that they can feed off for the rest of their lives and the satisfaction of knowing they got out of ‘the sleepy zone’ and made the most of their situation.

150 YEARS OF COACHING WISDOM

The wise get the balance right and understand that there is a time to be a success in your life and a time for your life to be a success. A major part of finding this balance is realising the importance of achieving happily rather than achieving to be happy. This is not easy to come to terms with as a young person, so this is an area where a good coach will have the life experience and holistic view to make an important contribution to a balanced outlook. The historical perspective and stories that a coach can bring to a situation are hugely important. Recently our local parishes, in Co Wicklow, have been celebrating our 150th anniversary and it got me thinking about a number of areas that contribute to making our lives a success and actually also make us better competitors.

WALKING THE TIGHTROPE

150 years ago Charles Blondin crossed the Niagara Falls in Canada on a tightrope for the first time….for me, and for many of us, daily life is often like walking a tightrope….keeping a balance between ambitions and the realities of life…..keeping a balance between work and family life in busy times…keeping a financial balance in tough credit crunch times….keeping a balance between taking risks and playing safe, between possibilities and realities….keeping a balance between the needs of our planet and the needs of the people living on it….for many this it is often a pretty scary journey, with the constant risk of a fall, and this struggling group includes myself, a truth I would like to emphasise … and because of all these tensions it is often difficult for us to be positive. The sad fact is that research suggests that a majority of us are now pessimistic about the future, and negative about the majority of people we interact with in our daily lives, apart from our immediate families. However without question this pessimism and negativity is not at all helpful if we want to cross our own Niagara Falls. Let me give an example:

A TWIST IN THE TALE

There was a man who worked for the South African Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed to God, in shaky handwriting with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read:

Dear God, I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me? Sincerely, Edna

The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put in an envelope and sent to the woman. The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends. Christmas came and went. A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady and once again addressed to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened. It read:

Dear God, How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift. By the way, there was $4 missing. I think it might have been those thieving bastards at the post office.

NO MAN IS AN ISLAND

Why is it that we often tend to think the worst of people rather than the best? These postal workers and many millions of other people are good people. However if we think the worst of people it tends to be a self fulfilling prophesy….of course the positive side of this coin is that the reverse is also true…. if you treat people as though they were the people they could and should be, they have a much greater chance of becoming that person… and everyone benefits. In recent years and months in Ireland some groups of people….priests and bankers in particular…that previously were respected, have let us down and lost our trust. However it is not helpful if, as a result of these situations, that we become less inclined to work with each other.

Barack Obama’s tag line…”Yes we can”…is hugely important not just because it is a positive statement but because of the middle of those three words…we. It is a reflection of the prevailing pessimism that people found this tag line surprising, when logic tells us that this philosophy is the vital key to everyone’s future. The pessimist says that humans are themselves the biggest threat to the human race, but the optimist believes the opposite…that humans can find solutions to our challenges. Mahatma Gandhi saw both sides of this argument, but also saw a positive route forwards when stating, “the difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the world's problem”. Once again it’s that word WE…we are capable.

Positive people and ‘we’ people are great role models and influencers…this behaviour is catching. I50 years after Darwin published the Origin of Species it would be wonderful to think that we could gradually hard wire this attitude into the human brain. What a difference it would make. Or possibly every child could be tattooed with the letters ‘W. E.’ on their hearts!

Just last week I made a speech and presented the certificates to a hugely important group of coaches who exemplify the reality of the importance of 'WE'. They were all graduating as Tutors (coaches qualified to teach other coaches) within the Special Olympics movement. This extraordinary movement brings us all together in a win win situation as we work with those with learning difficulties and get a better perspective on success and life. At the last Special Olympics there were over 7,000 amazing athletes from 151 countries, which makes it almost twice as big as the Paralympic Games, but the most important number is the over 3 million athletes who participate in the movement world wide . Their superb mantra is "Let me win, but if I cannot win let me be brave in the attempt.".....it is one we could all take on board.

DON’T BE TOO QUICK TO JUDGE

We work in a world where an additional part ‘we’ is 4 legged and equine, and it is worth thinking about the vital contribution horse power made to our ability to travel and communicate 150 years ago. I50 years ago the first Pony Express mail service started in the USA, taking letters over 2,000 miles between Missouri and California in relays of horseback riders. It took 10 days…just over 200 miles a day…. which is an interesting reflection on the changing pace of communication. In 1976 to celebrate the American bicentennial they covered an even longer distance, over 3,700 miles, in a horse race across the USA from west coast to east coast, covering 50 miles a day, with each rider using two mounts. They had the best of the American long distance horses…western horses, quarter horses, arabs, thoroughbreds … and they had donkeys…what type of animal won do you think? A pair of donkeys was first and another pair fourth!

Yet again it’s a matter of not assuming the worst but looking at horses or donkeys, or fortunate people or less fortunate people, or Moslems or agnostics, or Catholics or Protestants, in a positive way and making the most of the situation and the possibilities and the power of partnership. Certainly a successful competition rider has to be a team player as they need a team of people to make it possible for them to perform. For them the power of partnership is not an optional extra but an essential. Therefore if they don’t have these partnership skills they have to learn them…. then it’s happy days. William

www.WilliamMicklem.com

NEXT TIME….REFLECTIONS – Part 2 – GETTING TO ‘WE’…..fraternity, excellence and the three R’s….and my favourite mantra.

[Janet B]

Great food for thought!! Thanks for your insights and look forward to the next one! Janet

[Fiona Hill]

Well, William. There is so much in this it's difficult to know what to say! You have touched on so many issues in one blog! The need to have goals and looking to the future... achievement ... the need to find a balance ... judgement... connection with others vs separation... fear and negativity vs confidence and positivity. And of course as you point out, it is necessary to make these links in any walk of life, not just with horses. Looking forward to the next installment!