Anxiety & Depression , Horsepeople coming together to deal with these mega problems.

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Comment by Marti Langley on November 9, 2009 at 2:59pm

I find if I get nervous while riding, that if I keep my legs relaxed and the reins relaxed my horse never even knows. Or if she knows, she ain't letting on.

Comment by Jackie Cochran on November 9, 2009 at 9:16am

Most of the old horse books note that the rider has to learn to control themselves before they can control the horse.
The horse cares about what you are doing physically. I do not worry much about feeling fear because as long as I keep from hurting the horse they do not seem to care, though I have gotten reassurances from the horse that I did not need to be fearful.
It is the panicked digging in with the heels and the death grip on the reins that make a horse restive under the fearful rider. I have found that the proper response to my fear is to make sure my body is in proper position (especially heels down) and my hands are relaxed. Then I can freak out all I want (no screaming! horses do not like screaming) while the horse usually stands there waiting patiently for me to get myself back together.

Comment by Mary H on November 9, 2009 at 1:02am

How nice of you to ask "How is everyone today" Marti.
I agree with Shirley - the right medication and time with horses helps. They have been a natural feedback loop to help me relax in the saddle. If I tense up the horses do too. If I "force myself" to relax, the horse does too. After this happening enough times over the past 9 years I have learned to control my reactions and stay calm. Has anyone else noticed that?

Comment by Marti Langley on November 8, 2009 at 6:42pm

Amen!!

Comment by Jackie Cochran on November 8, 2009 at 5:47pm

I've been great too. I rode today, it always makes life better!

Comment by Marti Langley on November 8, 2009 at 5:33pm

How is everyone today? I have been great lately.

Comment by Marti Langley on November 2, 2009 at 9:31pm

Yeah, you sure don't want to quit horses right before it gets fun, lol. You are doing great, Jenn.

Comment by Jackie Cochran on November 2, 2009 at 10:53am

Stacey, I also had to stop owning horses (I have Multiple Sclerosis.) I now ride other people's horses. Since I know how to ride, I find myself helping rehab or retrain horses at both stables where I ride. Since I am limited somewhat physically the owners find me ideal for patient rehab! Since I am not going anywhere (not competing) I can take all the time necessary.
Riding other people's horses can give you EXPERIENCE that will pay off when you can own your own horses again.

Comment by Jennifer Lamm on November 2, 2009 at 10:51am

Coopersmom, I taught Oliver to come to me when I call him.... I remember when my barn buddy was here and she said, "don't do that, that is a stupid game".. thankfully she isn't here anymore and I decided I get to do what I want to do with MY horse dangit!! what an exhilirating feeling.... Oliver can be munching on hay and I can get him to come to me...... wherever I am in my medium sized pasture.... somehow you realize the friendship with the horse means more than all the other folks you encounter... teach him to come to you.... and be happy with every accomplishment you make with your horse..... the exhaustion hopefully won't get you down.....

I quit smoking, drinking, started taking my vitamins, minerals, eating much better, and all for a mustang... that is 4 years old... I better have the energy and the stamina for Oliver... so we can ride ride ride. :) Hugs girl.... thank you for sharing your inspirational story.

Comment by Jennifer Lamm on November 2, 2009 at 10:44am

When I got my horses I was surrounded by seasoned people.... either on the chatrooms I belonged to, or the girls I lived near, or most specifically my barn buddy whom I shared a horse with and tried to ride with.... I think my lack of experience, my fear of horses, (which I didn't realize I even had) and my trying to keep up with the joneses made me fall into a despair.... plus my barn buddy turned out to just be in it for herself and ditched me and took the horse I bought...... I couldn't believe how awful having horses felt.... how insecure and fearful I felt and how guilty I felt when Toby and Oliver looked at me, like... "why don't you ride, why are you such a mess of a horse girl?" For five years I think having horses depressed me more than anything... plus I got in a tiff with my trainer who I adore and then I cried about that.... how can your passion wreck your life???? Every single morning I woke up, I had a pit in my stomach and I'd sit at the computer and go on line and read of other people rides, see photos of blue ribbon accomplishments and I'd feel sorry for my horses that they were stuck with me.... I was even on another chat room where I was getting belittled for my fears and insecurities.... I could not have felt more like crap..... the only thing I knew was this.... Shit man, I feed these horses, I go to work for these horses, I have a lady renting out a room in my house to afford these horses, I'm mucking my heart out, I've spent over $20,000 on a trainer in the last 5 years, I AM NOT GIVING UP BEFORE IT GETS FUN!! I am not going to let my passion be my depression.... I do not think I am clinically diagnosed as a depressed person like some of my friends here, so I'm sorry if I can't understand completely what you go through on a regular basis, but I know that taking care of myself is what helped me.... I quit training with my trainer, I got off the belittleing chatroom, and I started hanging out with Toby and Oliver..... no matter what, we did what I could do..... even if it was finding carrots in their feeders and being close to them... smelling them, watching them..... and you know what happened??? they started coming up to me whenever I was around, catching me... Oliver started nickering to me in a "oh I'm so glad you are here" nicker...... and I pushed through my depression.... until finally I WANTED to hang out with my horses instead of hiding in my house out of despair, fear, intimidation, depression.. all the crap that I do not let into my life on a normal basis..... and about 4 months ago, I snapped out of it..... thankfullly.... I think getting rid of them, as I threatened to do a few times, would have compounded my failures.... I can't wait to ride by the homies that made fun of me, on my awesome mustang some day.... I know that is spiteful but I still want to do it... :)

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